Somebody did you wrong. Somebody betrayed you, broke your heart, messed up your life. It might have been a parent, a sibling, somebody you were in love with, a best friend, a spouse, a mentor. This person gave you a wound that never entirely healed. How could you forgive it?
The trouble is, to heal yourself, forgiving the perpetrator may be necessary. It’s where you may need to start. A wound unforgiven stays with you and festers. It affects your life, negatively. You dwell on it. You carry your victimhood slung across your back. It weighs you down. It saps the strength of your soul.
To forgive is to choose to drop the burden. It’s to choose to move on. It may be difficult. For one thing, most of us are old. Chances are, the perp is dead or in any case vanished from your life or lost in dementia. Working it out with him or her in person may not be possible. You may have to do it in your heart. Imagine meeting that person the other side of death. Could your first words, your first thought be, I forgive you?
If the person is still available the job may be harder. In the Hollywood version you rush into each other’s arms and walk off into the sunset. In your real life, this may not be the case. The person may have trouble accepting your forgiveness. It would mean acknowledging that he or she had wronged you.
Many of us have something like this going on in our lives. Unfinished business, unhealed wounds. Maybe you’re the perp in somebody else’s messed-up up life. Can you acknowledge it? Can you open yourself to forgiveness?
Think about it. There’s a corresponding thread. If there’s stuff you want to discuss, it’s yours.
Happy Easter, John.